We plan and God laughs

Well, another day, another pot of coffee (or three). I finally had to get out of the house and be with other humans again. Sooooo, here I am at It's a Grind with all the real estate agents, retirees and cops surfing the web.

I don't really have much going on right now except trying to stay sane while John is not working. He has a line on a few jobs but is kind of concentrating on school right now. He has decided to go for his BS in Construction Management since work is off so much and he has the time to devote to it. We both figure that he might as well due to the tuition being discounted 40% if he does it right after he gets his AA (only one more term left). Not to mention that he has found that he really likes school and further schooling can only make our situation better once this recession lifts.

I have finally reconciled myself to being a mom so I am looking at having more kids. I REALLY, REALLY want a normal little girl(s) and I am going to do whatever it takes to do it. Life is too short to worry about what if's and what might have been's so I am going to do what I want to do and damn the torpedos.

I am finally happy being me and letting things be as they will be and not worrying about things that I can't change (David, Meghan, Craig, finances, etc.). My life has been one big "You had to be there" jokes and I am finally learning the wisdom of the saying "We plan and God laughs". I have realized that when I do what I want to do and make myself happy, everyone around me seems to be happier and my whole household becomes much more peaceful. Don't get me wrong, I still have to nag the guys to do stuff but I also know that if I have to nag A LOT, it isn't worth the stress that I feel and I have two choices-1. Leave it and don't worry about it or 2. Do it myself and enjoy the feeling of having it done.

David is doing much better (as far as much better gets with a 16 year old boy) and Craig is working almost every day so I don't have to put up with him more than a few hours at night and even then, he is usually outside drinking beer and smoking (neither is allowed in the house). Summer vacation is almost here and David will be gone most of the time at his best friend's house or at the pool so it should be pretty nice. John and I are back on track since I stopped drinking and hiding out from everyone. I realized that I am a binge drinker like my father and most of my family so I just decided that it wasn't worth being miserable and pushing away everyone that I loved. Anyway, drinking wasn't making the boredom and whatever else that I was trying to aleviate any better and it was making my anti-depressants not work right.

Anyway, life is good, the coffee is hot, the sky is blue and the surf is up (internet surf lol).

-t-