Hello All,
Just a note to all about what is going on in the Hixson clan. David seems to be doing well with his new classes and we are definitely seeing improvement in grades and behaviour (knock on wood). He is going to turn 16 on the 28th so if you can, give him a call and tell him happy birthday. Also, I am doing better now that it is getting warmer and nicer outside. I have been walking to the park everyday with Gabby and walking the trail (1/2 mi). The park is on the way to school for David so I leave at 7:30a and if David is ready, he can walk with me. This has proved to be motivation for him to get his butt out of bed and ready on time so that he can walk with me. Not to say that he doesn't have his good days and bad days but we are starting to have more good days than bad days and that is a huge improvement.
On the marriage front, John and I are doing really good and spending A LOT of time together but that isn't exactly good for our finances. You see, John has not worked for almost a month because the work just dried up all of the sudden. Please pray for John and his dad to start getting more work as we are just barely scraping by on just my and Meghan's income. He has made a webpage www.hixsonconstruction.com and is putting signage on both of our vehicles as well as printing out flyers to put on cars and front doors. He is also posting an ad in Craigslist everyday but so far we haven't had any luck. John's dad has never advertised before because he has never needed to since starting the business in 1971 but this economy is beginning to hit home on even established companies. Sooo, I am now in the position of head cheerleader trying to keep John's spirits up and not let him get depressed about the lack of work or go stir-crazy because we have to stay home so much (no money means less outings :( )
On a better note, we have started dancing again at a place on Del Paso Blvd and we go as much as we can afford and when we have someone to watch Meghan. That is why I started walking again, I need to build up my stamina. I used to be able to do three tush-pushes in a row, drink a bottle of water and go back on the floor for more. Now one tush-push is almost more than I can handle and that is not good. I am not even 40 yet so I am not ready for the rocking chair.
Well, I am going to go now so that I can get dressed. John and I are going to go to Mongolian for lunch and get out of the house (all you can eat for not much $$$).
T
PS I am doing a lot of card-crafting so I am going to get my most recent work scanned in and put up on my blog so you can see it.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Just venting, nothing to worry about
Hey everyone,
Well, after getting all of that off my chest, eating lunch and taking my afternoon nap (I try to get one in everyday) I am feeling better. Always remember when you read my blog that it is sort of my public diary and I use it to vent so that I wont do it verbally and say something that I don't really mean. Honestly, I am happier now than I have ever been. I know that sounds wierd after my previous post but it is true. I am in a 4 bedroom house in the burbs within walking distance from the best park I have ever seen (it even has a dogpark for small dogs). I have a gorgeous husband who is smart, funny and sometimes even puts the seat down :) I have two kids who, while they have thier probs, have never been arrested. Finally, I have my crafts and they are what keep me sane. Having kids like mine is the biggest, fastest, most harrowing rollercoaster ride you have ever been on and you have the highest of highs and the lowest of lows within minutes so you have to hold on and scream when you need to. So, dont worry about me. Just letting me know that you read my blog shows that you care and that is exactly what I need, just to know that I am not alone. You don't need to understand or even know the answer to my probs, just listening is enough. Love ya all.
Teresa
Well, after getting all of that off my chest, eating lunch and taking my afternoon nap (I try to get one in everyday) I am feeling better. Always remember when you read my blog that it is sort of my public diary and I use it to vent so that I wont do it verbally and say something that I don't really mean. Honestly, I am happier now than I have ever been. I know that sounds wierd after my previous post but it is true. I am in a 4 bedroom house in the burbs within walking distance from the best park I have ever seen (it even has a dogpark for small dogs). I have a gorgeous husband who is smart, funny and sometimes even puts the seat down :) I have two kids who, while they have thier probs, have never been arrested. Finally, I have my crafts and they are what keep me sane. Having kids like mine is the biggest, fastest, most harrowing rollercoaster ride you have ever been on and you have the highest of highs and the lowest of lows within minutes so you have to hold on and scream when you need to. So, dont worry about me. Just letting me know that you read my blog shows that you care and that is exactly what I need, just to know that I am not alone. You don't need to understand or even know the answer to my probs, just listening is enough. Love ya all.
Teresa
Good news and bad news
Well, I just went to David's IEP (Independant Education Plan) meeting and he has officially been put on an IEP due to his emotional issues (depression, adhd) as well as his academic ones. I know that that is a good thing because now he will get the help from the school district that he needs both emotionally (counseling) and academically (smaller classes with extra help). My brain knows that and is dealing with it pretty well but my heart is not dealing with it as well as my brain. Now that both of my kids are on IEPs and in special classes, I REALLY feel like a failure as a parent both in nature as well as nurture (more nature though). WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY GENES!?!?! Both my kids have different fathers, I had completely opposite pregnancies, labor and deliveries with them. They are even different sexes. The only common factor in them is ME!!!
I realize that alcohol is a really bad way for me to cope with stress but it is one of the quickest and I am really trying not to use that particular crutch. Sooooo, here I am pouring out my heart via words and hoping that that with do for the time being. I am soooo not one to cry at the drop of a hat but I am having a hard time keeping the tears in. One of the problems is that I am feeling particularly selfish right now and that is making me feel guilty. This is really not about me but about my kids but . . . . .
I really miss my Mom.
I also realized at the IEP that since David was able to get into the IEP program with the issues that he has and since I had the EXACT SAME ISSUES THROUGHOUT SCHOOL, I could have also been helped but, unfortunately, I slipped through the cracks just like my brother and I have had to deal with that alone without any help for over 30 years.
I yelled at John today because the phone was cut off because we forgot to pay the bill and I finally paid with MY money and then when he called me, he told me that HE also paid it so now we are paid up on the phone bill but are almost $300 poorer and this is not a good time for that because John is struggling to get work. It wasn't his fault that we both did the same thing at the same time but he was the most convenient vent for me and that was wrong on my part.
I just wish sometimes that life wasn't ALWAYS SOOOOOO HARD. I could use a little bit of easy in my life but that doesn't seem to be in the cards for me. I know other people have some easy in thier lives and it makes me really frustrated and jealous. Especially when I see people who have 5 kids all doing well in school, living in a nice house with nice cars and nice jobs after having nice normal childhoods and I wonder why they are so lucky. What did they do right that I have so obviously done so wrong?
I am trying to get this all out of my system now so that I can put on a HAPPY FACE when David comes home so that looks at this IEP as a positive thing and not a negative thing. Well I am going to sign off, make something to eat curl up in my Snuggie and watch the news.
See ya
Teresa
I realize that alcohol is a really bad way for me to cope with stress but it is one of the quickest and I am really trying not to use that particular crutch. Sooooo, here I am pouring out my heart via words and hoping that that with do for the time being. I am soooo not one to cry at the drop of a hat but I am having a hard time keeping the tears in. One of the problems is that I am feeling particularly selfish right now and that is making me feel guilty. This is really not about me but about my kids but . . . . .
I really miss my Mom.
I also realized at the IEP that since David was able to get into the IEP program with the issues that he has and since I had the EXACT SAME ISSUES THROUGHOUT SCHOOL, I could have also been helped but, unfortunately, I slipped through the cracks just like my brother and I have had to deal with that alone without any help for over 30 years.
I yelled at John today because the phone was cut off because we forgot to pay the bill and I finally paid with MY money and then when he called me, he told me that HE also paid it so now we are paid up on the phone bill but are almost $300 poorer and this is not a good time for that because John is struggling to get work. It wasn't his fault that we both did the same thing at the same time but he was the most convenient vent for me and that was wrong on my part.
I just wish sometimes that life wasn't ALWAYS SOOOOOO HARD. I could use a little bit of easy in my life but that doesn't seem to be in the cards for me. I know other people have some easy in thier lives and it makes me really frustrated and jealous. Especially when I see people who have 5 kids all doing well in school, living in a nice house with nice cars and nice jobs after having nice normal childhoods and I wonder why they are so lucky. What did they do right that I have so obviously done so wrong?
I am trying to get this all out of my system now so that I can put on a HAPPY FACE when David comes home so that looks at this IEP as a positive thing and not a negative thing. Well I am going to sign off, make something to eat curl up in my Snuggie and watch the news.
See ya
Teresa
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